Martini in a Box, Tequila up my nose

Yup, you heard right. Those were the events of my Friday. To make a long story short, my long time friend and I decided it would be cheaper to go to the LCBO and buy some liquor rather than go to a bar. This idea was GOOD. We get to the LCBO and after browsing a number of tempting toxins, our eyes fell on Martini In A Box. The idea was BAD. But not at that point, we were still convinced it was a good idea, since it was on sale for $10 off the original price. And the box really did look fun. I'll show you. So we buy that with a bottle of Tequila just in case we finish the box. When we finally reached home, I poured us a glass of the much anticipated "Party A Go Go Martini" (see, it sounds FUN!) into a couple of glasses and we proceeded to drink. It was really really gross. It tasted like molasses mixed with water and butt. I couldn't even finish my glass and I felt really sick from what I had already drank. So we both empty our glasses of asstini down the drain and start on the Tequila. Mind you, I'm really not feeling good from our first beverage, but I drink anyways. Since I don't own shot glasses, we use the huge happy face glasses I have, which makes the "shot" all the more harder since you're trying to keep it from spilling all over your face. First shot was great, second was too, but the third one somehow managed to stay wedged in my esophaegus,causing my gag reflex to go off. Since my place is a mess, it was like an obstacle course getting to the bathroom. I felt the vomit surging up my throat and I clamped my hands tightly over my mouth, but the pressure from my hands only acted as a vomit launcher from any pin hole cracks in my fingers. I hit my room divider which falls and breaks everything in it's path, also traps my friend in my room, and I make it to the toilet just to have Tequila and asstini shoot out through my nose. Please learn from my mistake. Never buy discounted, discontinued liquor, no matter how fun the box looks. More later.