Dear Mr. President...

Please stop addressing the nation during prime time. You have ruined several of my tv shows this way. Stick to ruining your country, you're good at that.





Love forever,
Fiona

I am depressed and these are the reasons:
-People make me sad, I don't know why I try so hard to love them
-Broccoli does not mix well in my Magic Bullet
-Black bananas are in my fridge but I feel horrible throwing them out
-I used the last of my credit card money to pay my rent
-I have one obese cat, one on the way to being obese, and one underweight anorexic cat
-The drain in my bathroom hasn't been fixed yet so I have a bucket underneath to catch my soap/toothpaste/water
-My socks smell
-Boy keeps hogging Shadow's favourite toy
-My chest and arm hurt
-I just wasted an hour and a half watching Rumor Has It
-I got a Christmas card today with my name spelled completely different. It said Suzy instead of Fiona.
-I can't start my life again until I get better and it's been 6 months.
-I have ketchup in the fridge which I never use and I keep thinking about it, slowly rotting away, being ignored, I feel so bad for it.
-I'm developing feelings for the condiments in my fridge.

Ipod rant

I don’t own an iPod. I think there are only two people on the planet that don’t own an iPod. Me and Saddam. Oh wait...so I’m the only one left who doesn’t own and iPod, but honestly I don’t get it. What’s all the shebang about. It’s a Walkman at three times the price. We had them 10 years ago. So big deal the songs are in memory as opposed to my little cds. Does it really matter? They’re both digital. Oh but an iPod can hold a quadzillion hours of music but my Walkman can only hold two hours. Your life must be pretty sad if you have enough time to listen to quadzillion hours of uninterrupted music.

Randomness at it's finest...

I pretty much spent the whole weekend in bed, with pains in my chest and arms, not to mention a splitting headache. I have a few more tests to do to figure out what the hell is wrong with me, and it makes me really upset that no doctor has been able to pinpoint the problem yet. The most I did was go to little India to do my eyebrows. Ya, it's far from where I live, but it's the only place that does a somewhat ok job of threading and isn't in Markham. I wish more brown people lived downtown, then maybe there would be more of a market for threading and more brown salons would exist. I wouldn't look like Bert as much. I still hate my apartment, it doesn't fit my style at all. I've never felt so uncomfortable living somewhere, and I've lived in a lot of umcomfortable places. My ear stretching isn't going so good, I had to guage down a size due to lymph and blood oozing out of it 24/7. Got a nice lecture from Tom which I expected, I guess I should listen to him more. My septum is healing fine, I ordered crappy jewelry off of ebay for it, but I want to wait another week until I know it's healed. He's also going to make me a plastic retainer for when I have MRI next week. I'm not sure if my next piercing will be my other nostril or my lip, but I have lots of time to decide that. I'm getting addicted to piercings again, but this time it's for the better because I know who the best/worst piercers are and I'm not doing them myself :P I can't find this band called Teddybears in any music stores, and no one seems to know who they are. I keep getting smirks from the store clerks when I ask for the name. They probably think it's some cutesy pop band because of the name, but they were actually once a grindcore punk band. Now I think they're just punk/electronica, but I'm addicted to them all the same.

I love him

We have a beautiful, odd relationship and it works.

If my life were a movie...

this would be the poster for it:

My new friend

I love it and often wonder why it took me so long to got it.

No, it's not a runny nose, it's a septum retainer. I can't wait to put this bad boy in it, I bought it off of Ebay for $10!

Useless information

-I still make shampoo shapes with my hair in the shower
-I use toothbrushes made for children because they have fun characters on them
-I love Viagra commercials
-I sometimes look at my hands and get scared cause I know they will one day be lifeless
-I choreograph my own dances when I should be cleaning my apartment
-I really hate my name
-I've always wanted to look Oriental
-I only date men over 30.
-I think my stuffed animals talk behind my back when I'm gone, laughing at me
-My two biggest fears are dying from a brain hemmorage, a heart attack or appendicitis.
-I'm a hypochondriach
-America makes me feel proud to be a Canadian
-I'm a Christian, but you'd never guess and I'd never discuss it with you, I'm very private and free thinking when it comes to my faith and don't have the same cookie cutter views as everyone else
-I want to live in a world of muppets instead of humans; they make me laugh so much
-5 years ago, I spent $100 on a Pilates work out tape set and have only used it twice; once while drinking a beer
-I eat food I drop on the floor on a daily basis
-I can eat a whole large pizza by myself in one sitting
-I will trust a stranger whole heartedly until s/he convinces me otherwise
-I hate being alone yet I've been living by myself for 2+ years
-My happiest was when I was homeless
-I'm convinced that if I try really really hard, I can move things with my eyes like Matilda, I just haven't tried hard enough
-I just ate ice cream for dinner, just because I can. This happens often.
-I've worn the same socks for 3 days straight. Not because I'm out of socks, I just like these ones.
-This is the loneliest I have ever felt in my entire life.
-I wish I was a recreational pot smoker, they have more fun.
-I miss my crack head/cockroach ridden apartment, even though the one I'm in now is safer and cleaner. It just doesn't feel like home.
-I've had more than 5 guns pointed at my head at once (dude sitting behind me on the ttc said he was going to shoot all the brown people on the streetcar, swat was called in. I was oblivious, as usual)
-I am secretely spiteful towards white chocolate because I feel it is an imposter
-I once made kraft dinner with chocolate milk because I was out of white. It tasted horrible.
-I loved sucking on rusty nails as a kid
-I've never stepped foot in a spa
-I will love you more than you will ever love me. Every psychic tells me this. They also tell me I will never have love in my life, and I'm ok with this, so long as I can give it.
-I still have my Mr. Bubble from when I was 5, just in case I ever decide to have a bubble bath.
-Friendships scare me.
-I miss the imaginary horse (Sooshy)I had as a kid.
-At weddings, I feel so, so sorry for the bride and so greatful for my independance.
-I wish I could wear a Sari everyday for the rest of my life because they are so comfortable. One day I will start.
-People never fail to amaze me at how much they will hurt me and not even notice.
-I want to own a camel one day.
-One day I'll be important, not in a CEO way, but in a helping others way.
-I love my cat more than anyone I know.
-I hate getting flowers.
-The only people I want at my funeral are my mom, dad and brother.
-Butterflies scare the poop out of me.
-My uncle suffocated his pet chicken by accident as a kid. The story makes me laugh because instead of saying suffocated, he says sophisticated, even after all these years in Canada.
-I find it hard to believe a word anyone says anymore.
-For some reason, I feel better when I write point form posts intimate details about myself I would normally never share with anyone.

This Thanksgiving...

I am thankful for really great friends and family who I would be lost without.