Dear Mr. President...

Please stop addressing the nation during prime time. You have ruined several of my tv shows this way. Stick to ruining your country, you're good at that.





Love forever,
Fiona

I am depressed and these are the reasons:
-People make me sad, I don't know why I try so hard to love them
-Broccoli does not mix well in my Magic Bullet
-Black bananas are in my fridge but I feel horrible throwing them out
-I used the last of my credit card money to pay my rent
-I have one obese cat, one on the way to being obese, and one underweight anorexic cat
-The drain in my bathroom hasn't been fixed yet so I have a bucket underneath to catch my soap/toothpaste/water
-My socks smell
-Boy keeps hogging Shadow's favourite toy
-My chest and arm hurt
-I just wasted an hour and a half watching Rumor Has It
-I got a Christmas card today with my name spelled completely different. It said Suzy instead of Fiona.
-I can't start my life again until I get better and it's been 6 months.
-I have ketchup in the fridge which I never use and I keep thinking about it, slowly rotting away, being ignored, I feel so bad for it.
-I'm developing feelings for the condiments in my fridge.

Ipod rant

I don’t own an iPod. I think there are only two people on the planet that don’t own an iPod. Me and Saddam. Oh wait...so I’m the only one left who doesn’t own and iPod, but honestly I don’t get it. What’s all the shebang about. It’s a Walkman at three times the price. We had them 10 years ago. So big deal the songs are in memory as opposed to my little cds. Does it really matter? They’re both digital. Oh but an iPod can hold a quadzillion hours of music but my Walkman can only hold two hours. Your life must be pretty sad if you have enough time to listen to quadzillion hours of uninterrupted music.